love me true..

I just thought i should write something.. these last few days ive been so messed up.. especially at night time, b4 bed.. dun mean to sound so sad, but thatz whatz been happening to me like these last 4 nights.. tonight i feel abit better.. dun feel lyk crying or breaking down.. last night was the worst... wen i heard the latest news.. couldnt help myself.. it was so bad.. i didnt even get to visit her onced and now i can never.. always wanted but one week lead to another, etc.. the pain hurt so much and last night was one of the worst since the funeral.. 8weeks.. 2months.. it seemed lyk last week wen we last went out... i can still picture the last time we went clubbing and the last time i droped her off (the day b4 it all) and i can imagine the way she looked, her smile, her face expression etc.. it seemed so yeasterdai but reality its been 8long painful weeks..

i regret all the things we didnt get to do together.. we had so many plans.. i regret not going out more (even tho we went out so much that i always got in trouble wif the Mr., but im glad we did.. we had alot of good times.. 2004-2005 was our year.. Heaven (night club) every Saturdai.. lols.. hmmm.. DS can not function wifout the V, but once apon atime we were DVS.. (devious for u slow intakers, but we didnt make up the name, it was in front of us.. we used to have big letter (bling bling) necklace of the first letter of our name.. wore it all da time wen we went clubbing.. showed it off to ppl and once day someone just said DVS.. ohh Devious.. and yeah.. something along those lines..)

wanted to drink away ma sorrows, but as the day wen on i was quite ok (for now).. well i dun mind drinking, but itz good that i didnt go out tonight.. focus on study.. lols.. (sometimes im too messed up to even think about studing.. im way behind.. i noe i should get ma act together but easier sad then done..) ive been going out too much any ways.. clubbing will never be the same.. but sometimes itz just good (better) to be out n about (half drunk n all..) then at home alone.. thinking.. which leads to sadness etc.. the pain is just too much sometimes.. well any ways enough of sad reading for u whos reading this.. hehe.. mwah!!!